I am Not a Victim

 It occurs to me that I have plenty of reasons that I could easily play the victim. And in my case, it would even come in flavors. I am an African American. With how much emphasis we currently put on racism, I could get a lot of mileage out of the race card. Just claim I'm oppressed and ride the road to success without lifting a finger.

    And there's the fact that I have a mental disorder. Aspergers Syndrome. And it makes social situations a nightmare. I have to memorize and make note of cues that most people take for granted. It makes talking to girls outright dangerous. I've lost track of how many times a girl has interpreted my actions as hostile and reported me without me even knowing there was a problem in the first place. It cost me two friends. It nearly cost me a job. And it's not going away anytime soon.

    I've also gone through an abusive relationship, became suicidal twice, gotten stalked, been taken advantage of, moved out twice in the span of a year, and had to regain my sense of self-worth after all of that.

    But guess what? I'm STILL HERE!

    And I'm still striving to make my life better.

    Trust me guys. You don't want to be a victim. I struggled with that mentality for years. It would have been so easy to blame my Aspergers for everything, and sometimes I did succumb to that temptation. But here's the thing, blaming something like that for your problems won't actually make the problems go away. They'll stay with you indefinitely. And people will grow tired of that excuse. Then, you're a liability. People don't want liabilities. Sure, the disability is a legitimate issue. But there's a difference between working with an issue and hiding behind it for sympathy points.

    Another problem with being a victim is that you basically just sit there and wait for someone else to solve your problems. You gripe and whine until someone comes to kiss your boo-boos. But even on the off-chance that does happen, why would you trust someone else to fix your problems? They're your problems. One would think you'd know your problems better than a total stranger. Don't wait for someone else to do it. Fix them yourself. Especially since by sitting on your haunches, you're taking time away from the people that ACTUALLY need help.

    My life is no one's but my own. And I will take it.